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Now browsing: Hometown News > Columnist Archives > Counseling - One Minute Therapist

May 9, 2008
Marriage, spiritual growth share similarities - For those wise consumers who like the idea of getting two for the price of one, I offer this enticing prospect: the path towards marital stability and happiness is the same as the path toward spiritual growth and enlightenment. Whatever you do to contribute to one will enhance the other. This is not to say that a committed and successful relatio... Full Story

May 2, 2008
Total freedom requires bravery - In this time of war, when young men and women are dying on foreign territory, we might give a thought to courage: what it is, who has it, and how to get it. One thing we might understand about courage is that it is not the absence of fear. It is functioning in the presence of fear, or, facing the fear and doing things anyway. But, this is physica... Full Story

April 25, 2008
Fear of freedom - In my last column I tried to make the case for allowing your loved ones as much freedom as they can possibly handle. Now why in the world would you want to do that? Well, isn't this America? We have a curious relationship with the whole concept of "freedom," it seems to me. Much as with sex, we love it and glorify it. On the other hand, we deplo... Full Story

April 18, 2008
Total freedom requires bravery - In this time of war, when young men and women are dying on foreign territory, we might give a thought to courage, what it is, who has it and how to get it. One thing we might understand about courage is that it is not the absence of fear. Courage is functioning in the presence of fear, that is, facing the fear and doing things anyway, despite the... Full Story

April 11, 2008
Total freedom requires bravery - In this time of war, when young men and women are dying on foreign territory, we might give a thought to courage, what it is, who has it and how to get it. One thing we might understand about courage is that it is not the absence of fear. Courage is functioning in the presence of fear, that is, facing the fear and doing things anyway, despite the... Full Story

April 4, 2008
Don't expect spouse to parent you - Many marriages could be said to contain one spouse who is "over-functional" and one who is "under-functional." An over-functioning spouse is one who "parents" his or her partner, assuming responsibility for him or her and supervising most aspects of his or her actions. Though very common, this kind of imbalance in a marriage is an intimacy killer... Full Story

March 28, 2008
Dealing with early developmental struggles - Loving a baby is pretty easy once you get used to the manual labor and constant vigilance demanded. There's just an awful lot of work to do and it never stops. You can't leave that helpless creature alone for very long and even when you do, you don't want to go out of earshot. But the child is so innocent and sweet. She/he has no agenda other tha... Full Story

March 21, 2008
Discipline for tots - Most parents take their role as "people-maker" pretty seriously, and well they should. Parenting is a huge responsibility and there is a great deal riding on your success in that role. The well-being of your child, as well as the immediate happiness of others who come into contact with that person you're training, are both at stake. You want to g... Full Story

March 7, 2008
Dance your way to relationship health - Want to jumpstart your tired romance? Why don't you try ballroom dancing? When you take your partner in your arms and move to the music, you may rediscover some of the chemistry that brought you together in the beginning. And, if you choose to try this approach to entertainment and exercise for couples, you'll also be expressing a metaphor for re... Full Story

February 29, 2008
Dance your way to relationship health - Want to jumpstart your tired romance? Why don't you try ballroom dancing? When you take your partner in your arms and move to the music, you may rediscover some of the chemistry that brought you together in the beginning. And, if you choose to try this approach to entertainment and exercise for couples, you'll also be expressing a metaphor for re... Full Story

February 22, 2008
Contracting for change - Can people really change? I'm a therapist so I have to say yes, don't I? What kind of therapist doesn't believe in change? He'd have to be some kind of fraud, wouldn't he? What is it that therapists sell if not change? I'll tell you what it is. It's growth. Growth is a kind of change but it's change along a path. We might say we change when we m... Full Story

February 15, 2008
Capacities of the real self - We Americans usually think of freedom as a good thing. In fact, we worship freedom and the self-expression that springs from it, in all its flourish and variety. It's the bedrock of American culture, the notion upon which we fasten our national identity and which gives rise to the manifold streams of American dialog purveyed by and reflected in a ... Full Story

February 8, 2008
Changing thoughts that kill - The nasty little bugs that routinely killed people before the 20th century have largely been beaten back by medical science. Vaccines have knocked out the worst of them: polio, smallpox, typhoid, typhus and others. This is probably medical science's most valuable contribution to extending, preserving and enhancing human health on this planet. We ... Full Story

February 1, 2008
Capacities of the real self - We Americans usually think of freedom as a good thing. In fact, we worship freedom and the self-expression that springs from it, in all its flourish and variety. It's the bedrock of American culture, the notion upon which we fasten our national identity and which gives rise to the manifold streams of American dialog purveyed by and reflected in a ... Full Story

January 25, 2008
Avoid these behaviors when angry - If there is one behavior that sinks relationships more often than any other, it's what people do to each other when they're angry. I don't know what this is in your house, but the most common is the harsh word spoken in haste. Whether it's an insult, put-down, curse or criticism delivered without compassion, words can damage love. Although ang... Full Story

January 18, 2008
At large in the jungle of love - OK, all you single people, this one's for you. You deserve attention and Lord knows you need it. For the heart is a lonely hunter; courage and patience wear thin. You've been up and down and over and out but still the reward doesn't come. Or maybe it does come but then it goes again and there's many a graceless butt kicking on the road to connubi... Full Story

January 11, 2008
How to live with bipolar disorder - Bipolar disorder, what used to be called manic depression, directly affects between 5 percent and 8 percent of the population. This is not a small group and, considering how disruptive bipolar disorder is to the lives of those who suffer from it, as well as those who live with and love them, it's a good thing we're making meaningful progress tow... Full Story

January 4, 2008
Childhood games mimic relationship patterns - If life sometimes seems a little hard to understand, maybe it's because life is so often a paradox. This quality in ourselves occasionally surprises us. Equally often, we surprise and confound our loved ones when we change from expressing one aspect to another, perhaps its' seeming opposite. A normally calm person becomes suddenly agitated. A k... Full Story

December 28, 2007
Resolve to balance your life this year - So another year bites the dust. But that's just the calendar, isn't it? How are you doing with your New Year's resolution? Have you decided to change anything this year? Or have you joined the cynical majority and given up on New Year's resolutions because you've learned they just don't work, that you can't change like that? I don't blame you ... Full Story

December 21, 2007
It's Christmas again - Just in case you haven't noticed, it's that time of year again. Just like last year and the year before, everybody and their mother did the turkey and gravy thing in November. I hope your ritual meal was satisfying and that your family showed up for it. After all, it is a tradition and tradition means a lot in families. It's one way we remember o... Full Story


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