Here we are at that un-holiest of holidays, Valentines Day.
A special day set aside for men to make a feeble attempt at redemption for their cold, callous ways the rest of the year.
Let's face it, the battle of the sexes is an ongoing scrimmage that neither man nor woman can win for both have different goals.
At the very base of the problem is men's needs are physical and women's are emotional. That creates a losing struggle for both. Women respond to verbal stimulation and men to visual. A man needs an attractive warm body while women must have an attachment in order to seal a relationship. It's a wonder we ever get together.
Right from childhood, little girls are taught to expect abuse from men. Now tell the truth ladies, as a child when you came home crying because the neighbor boy pulled your hair -- what did your mom tell you? "Oh, Sally, don't you know that is how he shows that he likes you?" From the beginning, you are told when a male strikes out at you it may be a good thing.
Men on the other hand are taught by their fathers not to show emotion and may even be punished if they cry.
Those early lessons work against both sides later on when it is time to attempt a relationship with the opposite sex. Women hope to find a sensitive man they might reach emotionally but often those fellows already have boyfriends. It is a mystery how we ever get together.
When men disappoint, women are steeled to a hard and difficult life, but relegating them to the role of the weaker sex is all wrong. Women are like teabags. You won't know how strong they will be until you put them in hot water. The inner strength of women is a remarkable thing. Weaker physically -- perhaps. Stronger in character? Most definitely. Yet most men make every effort to avoid headstrong or dominant women. Secretly we men liken making love with that type of women to riding a bicycle on a railroad track. You will get where you are going but will feel every bump along the way.
Another scary fact is the number one threat to men is heart disease and the number one threat to women is men. Men -- you can't live with us and you can't live without us. How do we ever get together?
Whenever a girl tells a guy she wants to take the relationship to the next level, he likens it to a parking garage. If you want to stay longer, you must pay more.
Oh come on, there is no denying certain females are attracted to a man's bank account. That fact makes many men wary of entering into a relationship. Of course if you are a man with no money, you can avoid that pitfall but your love life may suffer. Let's face it guys many of us would be hard put to get by on our looks alone. A way with words and the ability to toss around a few bucks serves most of us well. If you have those two, often the ladies will overlook your lack of sensitivity.
Man, I wonder how we ever get together?
Unlocking the secrets of women actually comes down to Mother Nature. In their life time women have a precious few eggs available for reproduction. The male of the species on the other hand can produce his half of the reproductive process from age 13 until 90 or thereabouts. That makes the men less careful where and how they spread their seed. Men may go through life willy-nilly doing what feels good. Women are more selective because they hope to use their eggs wisely. They want smart, strong children and chose a mate who seems to be able to fill those shoes (so to speak.)
I have to tell you it's a wonder we ever get together.
Once the pair couples, they attempt to mate for life. That can be a tall order and for some downright impossible. Still, there is nothing more satisfying on this earth than a lifelong marriage. On this Valentines Day, we all have been given a chance to let our mates know how we feel about them. Fellows, remember you have to TELL your girl. Girls remember you have to SHOW your guy. Happy Valentines Day.
Dan Smith is on the board of directors for the Ormond Beach Historical Society and The Motor Racing Heritage Association and is the author of two books, "The World's Greatest Beach" and "I Swear the Snook Drowned." Email questions and comments to firstname.lastname@example.org or call (386) 441-7793.